The Ultimate Fighting Championship will host an event on the White House lawn on July 4, 2026, to honor the sacrifices of founding fathers like George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and John Madison. The fights will be conducted inside an octagon-shaped metal chain-link fence. The cage will be about thirty feet in diameter and six feet tall.
Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, is coordinating the show. For those Republicans who have never attended a UFC match, it is said to be a mixed martial arts performance consisting of jiu-jitsu, wrestling, and kickboxing.
Democrats are likely to boycott the celebration and will undoubtedly be ridiculed for being unpatriotic, WOKE, and sissies. However, the standard response from Democrats to Republicans will be “Knock yourself out.“
Rumor has it that Trump wants to prove how badass he is and would like to fight someone. However, his doctor will give him a written excuse (bone spurs) so he will be forced to cheer the barefooted fighters from behind the six-foot fence.
Trump’s Attorney General Pam Bondi is also promoting the cage match as a way to lower the crime rate. Her logic is that young male criminals will watch the fighters and will want to fight in a cage instead of committing future crimes. She is also encouraged that eye-gouging, fish-hooking, and groin attacks have been declared to be fouls.