The Washington Cringe

Cringe: a feeling of embarrassment or discomfort in response to something awkward or unpleasant.

Most of us, particularly younger people, have listened to confused fathers and uncles bloviating about topics they know little about. The fictional Archie Bunker from Queens, New York, is the perfect example. Here are some of his humorous witticisms:

• “No bum that can’t speak poifect English oughta stay in this country—oughta be de-exported the hell outta here!”
• “It’s too late Edith, my bus has sailed.”
• “Up the creek without a saddle.”
• “God can do anything! He can turn your jawbone into an ass!”
• “Entertainment is a thing of the past. Now we got television!”
• “Don’t draw me no diaphragms.”
•  “Anybody that goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined!”
• “She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke.”
• “Them Sicilians are famous for two things: Spaghetti and revenge.”
• “All of them old Bible people, they was always eatin’ meat, as soon as they found out eatin’ apples was wrong. It’s true. On special occasions, goats, lambs — whoever heard of sacrificing a head of lettuce?”
• “When you have a machine gun in your hand, you have the right to say whatever you want!”

Archie was a made-up character whose lines resonated with truthiness for many, both on the Left and the Right. While his character spouted humorous malapropisms faster than one of his machine guns, his dialogue reflected the growing cultural tension emerging from the split over the Vietnam War and the enactment of the Civil Rights Act of 1965. His television show, All in the Family, was like a public family therapy session. Every week, a different therapy topic was presented, and the characters candidly represented the mental states of many Americans. They said the things that Americans were thinking at that time.

Today, a different actor from Queens openly repeats the thought processes for many Americans. Unfortunately, Donald Trump is not as funny as Archie Bunker. While he often portrays himself as being satirical, he is deadly serious even when satirical. Among his classic, stream-of-consciousness Trumpisms are:

• “I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it’s literally going to cease to exist.”
• “I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
• “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”
• “[John McCain is]… not a war hero. He’s a war hero – he’s a war hero ’cause he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured, OK, I hate to tell you.”
• “The concept of shaking hands is absolutely terrible, and statistically I’ve been proven right.”
• “Certain guys tell me they want women of substance, not beautiful models. It just means they can’t get beautiful models.”
• “She does have a very nice figure… If [Ivanka] weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
• “I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?”
• “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.”
• “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.”
• “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries coming here?”

Trump’s speeches and interviews are often derailed by random thoughts that pop into his head. These tangents are usually unconnected to the topic he was discussing. He can discuss the need for a strong military one moment and suddenly go off the rails with a discussion of trophy wives. He did just this yesterday in his West Point Commencement speech.

Trump was talking about success and career momentum when he suddenly brought up the marital history of William Levitt, the real estate developer of Long Island’s Levittown. He said, Levitt was once a “great, great real estate man” who lost momentum by chasing trophy wives.

“He ended up getting a divorce, found a new wife,” Trump said. “Could you say a trophy wife? I guess we can say a trophy wife. It didn’t work out too well, but that doesn’t work out too well, I must tell you. A lot of trophy wives, it doesn’t work out. But it made him happy for a little while at least. But he found a new wife.”

There is no need to discuss the irony of Trump’s lesson on trophy wives. His mind is so compartmentalized that, like Archie, he doesn’t realize what he’s talking about.

Of course, this was not an isolated or one-time tangent for Trump. He goes off on tangents so often that Trump and his apologists use the term “weave” to dress up his random thought processes. It is almost like he is on the couch working through some mental issue with his therapist. Perhaps, this is an endearing quality to many MAGA supporters. They may relate as voyeurs to his stream-of-consciousness discussions since he seems to have an open dialogue among his devilish id, HUGE EGO, and tiny superego. They must believe that he not only tells it like it is, but he thinks it like it is. Also, he often seems surprised when he discusses a new fact, as if he is the first to discover it.

It is beginning to be clearer why MAGA supporters stand by their man. He represents their thought processes and values. However, I prefer the humorous Archie Bunker dialogue to the deadly serious, cringey dialogue of the other man from Queens.